If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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