It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
