I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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