Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
