I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
