i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize