This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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