Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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