Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
