I'm lost and stupid without you.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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