He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My vagina just clenched in fear
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
