We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
