Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
