check it out our google latitudes are spooning
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
