Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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