I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
