Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
