can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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