Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
