I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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