Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
