i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
