is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he shaved USA in his pubs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
