I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
