I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
