she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize