im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
