I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize