we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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