the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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