Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
