Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
