I smell stomach acid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
