Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
