You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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