Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
