Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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