Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
