Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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