Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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