and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
