I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
