I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
