make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
