Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
