she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
