i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
