i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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