He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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