Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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