I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This baby is an asshole
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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