Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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