haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
