thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
