Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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