im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have post one night stand depression
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