okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
